Big Wins in Spring
And what I learned my first year of college
It’s the end of my Freshman year of college. That’s pretty crazy. It’s only been eight months yet I feel like a completely different person. I made so many memories, met so many people and had so many wonderful experiences. First of all, moving to New York from LA was a huge change. While they’re both big cites, New York is a completely different animal. It’s the city that never sleeps for a reason. There are constantly things going on around every corner. This can be awesome but it can also be frustrating at times. I almost never find myself at a loss for things to do. At any time of the day I can go out and doing something fun. I can hop on a train and be at Central Park in half an hour. I can go to Times Square, see the Statue of Liberty, the World Trade Center, walk across the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges and grab food in K town all in one day. Everyday is an adventure. Yet with every great adventure comes great obstacles as well. Dodging tweakers, navigating through crowded streets, bumping into people on the subway … it can be overwhelming at times. And not to mention being woken up in the middle of the night by random noises in my neighborhood. But I think I’m starting to get used to it all. Not that it’s become any less amazing. I don’t think it ever will.
Joining a D1 sports team was also pretty awesome. I was super nervous that I wouldn’t fit in with the team. I was worried about hazing especially. But luckily my fears were unfounded because my teammates are all really great. I feel like I found a sense of community here at LIU. Everyone I met on the fencing team has been so welcoming and so much fun to be around. I couldn’t ask for a better squad. And I am truly so grateful.
I also have a much better understanding of how the college fencing season works. The regular season prepares you for regionals and then regionals prepares you for nationals. I didn’t make nationals this year. But I think I have a better idea of how to make nationals next year. I went into regionals feeling really confident. I finished the regular season with a 28-8 record. That’s amazing for a freshman! However, regionals is a completely different animal. It’s probably the most stressful, exhausting event you can imagine. It consists of four rounds of pools. For every pool round you have to win at least half your bouts to advance to the next one. I got a bye through the first pool because I went into the competition seeded high. I made it past the second, but the third was a NIGHTMARE. Because the northeastern region is so strong, the second pool consisted of some of the best fencers in the world. I had Will Morrill, who recently won a senior World Cup, Vlad Covaliu, who is a former Junior World Champion, and a whole host of other really strong fencers. I got destroyed … I finished the second pool with one win and five losses and failed to advance to the final pool and NCAA nationals. I finished 20th overall. But still, even though I was disappointed, this wasn’t a bad performance. especially for a freshman. This was my first time and it was really intense. I’m looking forward to next year and I’m going to step into more of a leadership role. I’ll still be an underclassman but hopefully I’m going to be a good role model for the incoming freshman. And I can save them from making the same mistakes I did.
Meeting so many new people has also been a gateway to being more social for me. I feel like I’m becoming a lot less introverted and I’ve learned that meeting people is super easy. My confidence has grown as I’ve made more and more friends. And I think that confidence will transfer well into my professional career once I get out of college. Networking is pretty much just making friends, just in a more businessy setting. Being friendly and confident really is a super power!
I’ve also been using my superpower to gain a presence on social media. Turns out I’m pretty good at it! A while ago I posted a silly seven-second video on my Instagram. I didn’t really think much of it and went about my day, turned off my phone and went to bed. When I opened Instagram the next morning it had 200k views and like 10k likes. And from there it just exploded in popularity. It’s now around 500k views and 30k likes. Honestly for a while I was feeling a bit unmotivated to post on social media because a lot of my videos would flop. But this hit really brought back my confidence and also got me a lot of new followers too! I’m now sitting around 2,000, which is double the amount I had when I started posting reels!
Another big win came later in the month when I got 11th place in Juniors at the April North American Cup!
I fenced three events at the April NAC: Senior Teams, Div 1 and Juniors. The first was teams on Friday. I decided to do a team with my boys from LIU: Tai and Andrew. The team event is usually super fun. It’s a lot less stressful too because you don’t feel alone on the strip, and you know that you have people to help you out if you’re slipping. But teams unfortunately was not fun at this competition … I went in crazy tense and crazy stiff. And we lost our first DE because of it. Tai and Andrew both fenced well. But I probably had one of the worst performances I’ve ever had at a NAC. I lost 0-5, 0-5, and 3-5 and because of that we lost the event. I think most of time it isn’t good to blame yourself for a team’s loss. But in this case, yeah, it was my fault.
The next day was Divisions 1, and the same pattern followed. I did well in pools. I went 5-1. But then as soon as DE’s rolled around I became stressed and stiff and I fell apart. At this point I knew I needed to make a change. Two days, two bad results. Juniors was on Monday so I had a rest day in-between.
I got on a call with my performance coach Jon and we developed a plan for the next day. Honestly that talk was especially enlightening. The whole ’25-26 season I’ve been afraid. Afraid of myself.
Contrast that with Summer Nationals last year - a phenomenal competition. I placed top 32 in Div 1 and won Div 1A. However, I was unhappy with how I achieved those results. I fenced every event at Summer Nationals with an intensity that, up until that point, I had never felt before. I was unstoppable. But at the same time I was angry. I yelled loud and I hit hard. After that competition I never wanted to feel like that again. I was upset, ashamed and most of all afraid of who I was. I carried that shame with me up until my call with Jon. When we talked I realized that how I acted at Summer Nationals is a natural part of me. And I needed to accept that part of myself. Talking those things out was really helpful and I think I’m finally beginning to make peace with that version of me. So I decided I was going to let go of fear and embrace the angry, killer version of me in Juniors.
And of course when I did that I kicked some major butt. I went 5-1 in pools again and won my first DE. I then blew through the table of 64 and 32. I won 15-6 and 15-7. I was on fire and my confidence was at an all time high. We had a break between 32’s and 16’s. That long break I think made me calm down too much. I was still confident but I think my energy was a little low. I lost my top 16 bout 10-15. Top 16 is the best I’ve ever done in Juniors and while I was disappointed I didn’t go all the way, it was still a huge breakthrough.
And that breakthrough didn’t come from a leap in skill or fencing ability. It came from a change of mindset. I’ve decided I’m tired of trying dull myself, to be a version of myself defined by other people’s expectations and my own fears. I went into the Junior event as myself. I decided that I am who I am on the strip and I will change for no one. From now until forever, when I put on my gear and step on the strip, I will be me.
My next competition is the SJCC in Las Vegas and then Summer Nationals in July and I’m going into them with the same mentality. Wish me luck!
